62
Oct 9th 1858
One year ago yesterday since I said good
bye to Annie on the cars. Wanted to write
some last night but was too "deeply, darkly,
desperately," steeped in indigo to trust myself
with a pen only for the tedium of…
["59" crossed out, "61" written to right]
wrote half a dozen pages of foolscap to Mrs S. then
went to bed but not to sleep, for I was wakeful and
could have written all night. The spirit was still
upon me all the forenoon, but I…
44
Same Evening 24th
It is now nearly midnight - I've been sitting
up alone for an hour or two writing and
holding silent communion with a picture,
the shadowy face of Annie. Strange how
much of companionship I found in…
43
[...] under the life giving influence of the summer
sun. Failing, totally failing in this my dearest
aspiration, my soul ["if" crossed out, "is" written above] ever filled with sorrow
and sadness, for the loss to myself and…